Puzzles for mystery hunters in the off-season

Category: Puzzle

Roman holiday

I’d rather go to FRance.

He looked at the floor, uncomfortable.  “I had an x-ray in November, Juliet.  It didn’t look good.”  Her eyes filled with tears.  “Was it… was it the whiskey?”
“It was the whiskey.”
“God damn it all,” she sobbed.
“Well,” he sighed, smiling sadly. “We’ll always have the foxtrot.”

The clang of jostled highball glasses rang through the room as she pounded her desk.  “Where the hell is everyone?”
“Uh, Charlie and Victor are in Quebec until November, and…”
“What the hell are they doing there?”
“They’re tasting whiskey and organizing an exhibit of Zulu uniforms from the…”
She rolled her eyes.  “Send them a postcard with my regards saying they’re both fired.”

“Yes, Juliet?”
“Where’s the whiskey?”
“I dunno, papa hid it.”
“I wish we had a portable x-ray machine so I could find it.”
“Maybe you should drink less, sis.”

An old man in dirty overalls emerged, hands raised, from behind a dilapidated shed.  “Bravo, you stinking coward yankee.  You finally found me.”
“Thanks for the compliment, Charlie, but I’m Canadian.  Why did you decide to hide in Quebec?”
The old man shrugged.  “The European feel.”


Critical mass

Are fixies really the product of a rational, well-rounded mind?

Birth of a rock-solid friendship

Tiffany liked to quote her favorite authors.

Ezra was right half the time, and when he was wrong, he was so wrong you were never in any doubt about it.

How like herrings and onions our vices are in the morning after we have committed them.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.

The thing to do was to act just like others acted, live like they lived, and while they were not looking, do what you wanted.

Whatever satisfies the soul is truth.